You Are What You Eat

 Watched talk shows this morning while eating my low fat cottage cheese and banana. Of course everything is about diet and exercise for the new year. If nothing else, I was entertained. I found out I’m supposed to be eating strawberries WITH their leaves for maximum benefit to my skin. I should also be eating 2 kiwis daily with the skin on. I’m happy to say I have never eaten a kiwi on purpose. 

If you are anxious they insisted you should eat carrots and beans. I don’t know about you, but a carrot has never calmed me down. Maybe if it’s a big one and I throw it at the person making me anxious? 

I also think there’s a conspiracy to make people eat salmon. You can’t turn 6 pages in a magazine without seeing a piece of salmon lying on a plate surrounded by various tree leaves. Where are the pictures of bacon? Aha! I rest my case. One of the happy, healthy cooks this morning chopped up a variety of mushrooms, sniffed them deeply and exuberantly announced they smelled like steak. No. No, they don’t. Or you’ve marinated your cut of beef in salt, pepper, garlic and dirt. And I love mushrooms…I’m a big fan. But they don’t taste like steak.

Finally, if you are depressed, there is a whole list of foods to help. Among these super mood-boosting foods are garlic and onions. So, if you’re depressed and already feeling pretty bad about yourself, eat garlic and onions and your friends will avoid you at all costs. That should do something for your mental state. 

I’m looking forward to lunch and I can assure you it won’t include kiwi or crunchy beans. I tried to find salmon in the fridge, but then remembered I don’t buy it. I did find a whole package of bacon, but I abstained. After all, it is New Year’s Day and time to make better choices. I haven’t had any garlic or onions yet today, so don’t be a stranger. Oh, and bring potato chips.